


Ashley's AwesomeTastic Drunk Deancas Fic 4

by ashleyerwinner



Series: Ashley's Awesometastic DrunkFics [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, i'm so drunk, i'm wasted, idk - Freeform, kinda???, samcas, this is a joke, vodka is evil don't do it, why do i get this drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:36:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleyerwinner/pseuds/ashleyerwinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“CAS WHY ARE YOU HERE” Dean says and jumps off, and wipes his face off because his sexy angel is here and he wants to look his best</p><p>“I wanna keep in shape” he says</p><p>“I’m the yoga instructor” Sam says, motioning to his outfit, and Dean glares as Cas looks him up and down like ‘oh hot damn this is my jam’</p><p>“I’d like to see your yoga class, Sam” he says, and before dean can say anything they go to the class and Dean wants to scream but he keeps making the yucky healthy food and broods by himself ):</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ashley's AwesomeTastic Drunk Deancas Fic 4

**Author's Note:**

> i get drunk and predict what's gonna happen in the next episode of supernatural enjoy

Okay so Sam and Dean went through that thing where Sam was like “if you WANT TO BE BROTHERS THEN” and just walked away and I mean I’d be pestering the fuck out of Sam at this point like “WhAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO TO PROVE I WANT TO BE BROTHERS SAMMY G O D D A M M I T” and I’m sure Dean won’t do that so let’s assume they go back to the bunker

Cas is not there?? fucK THIS EPISODE ALREADY

Sam says “he probably had some angel stuff to do”

Dean says, “he has something to do right here amirite” and motions to his crotch and Sam rolls his eyes but at the same time he’s wanting to laugh because hehehe Cas and Dean sexually makes the world go round it’s his OTP

So Sam goes onto his laptop and finds a thing where people are dy8ing from losing tons of weight like hundreds of pounds at a time??? Wow that’s horrible let’s check this out, let’s not think about Abaddon or Crowley or Bartholomew (what the fuck did they even bring Bartie in for if he was only in for like ten seconds) Oh also Metatron and Gadreel I forgot about them for like a minute because FOR SOME REASON I HATE EVERY PLOT THIS SEASOn

I just want Cas to be human again and for them to actually do some “wow cas is figuring this stuff ouT FOR THE FIRST TIME” stuff but no they just kinda thrust him into a position where he’s all salesman and no “hmm how the fuck do I poop”

ANYWAY Sam and Dean go to the health facility place and Dean is very sad when they hire him as the food chef person and Sam gets hired as the yoga person because Dean is very much in shape and can do yoga too thank you very much

So anyway he’s mixing low-cal chili and he looks around like “is anyone looking” and Dean brings a spoonful to his mouth and takes a bite and then falls to the ground

He says, “OHM Y GOD I’m DYING” and Sam runs to him and is really worried for like .02 seconds and then he gives Dean a bitchface and goes

“you’re not dying you fuck you just don’t like low-cal stuff get with the program Dean and stop wasting my time”

And dean’s like “NO I’M DYING I’m WASTING AWAY THIS IS THE WORST AHHHhhhh I’m Melting”

And Sam says “Shut up Dean and get up” and then Cas pops up behind him and goes

“Did Dean ingest some low-cal food? He hates the tasteless junk”

“CAS WHY ARE YOU HERE” Dean says and jumps off, and wipes his face off because his sexy angel is here and he wants to look his best

“I wanna keep in shape” he says

“I’m the yoga instructor” Sam says, motioning to his outfit, and Dean glares as Cas looks him up and down like ‘oh hot damn this is my jam’

“I’d like to see your yoga class, Sam” he says, and before dean can say anything they go to the class and Dean wants to scream but he keeps making the yucky healthy food and broods by himself ):

Anyway Cas and Sam are doing yoga and Sam is the yoga instructor and all the other kids in their pumped up kicks are gaping at Sam’s sexy fucking body like whoa arms and butt and chest and shoulder to waist ratio like this guY MAN I WANNA JUST

And Sam is SayING “CHATARANGA PUSHUPS DO THEM” and they’re all struggling and he’s like “OkAY DOWN FACING DOG” and they do it and their backs show and Sam notices that they all have like back holes where their kidneys are??? Even Cas and Sam gets really worried because CAS NO BBY NO I THINK EVERYTHING YOU DO IS PRECIOUS AND ADoRABLE

And he like goes to touch the back hole??? But “NO SAM Don’T” his inner monologue says as he almost touches a lady’s back hole his inner monologue says “yoU’RE GONNA FINGER A BACK HOLE” and he goes ewewewewew

So he says “CLASS DISMISSED GOOD JOB” and Cas stands up and Sam goes “Cas angel face don’t eat the food here don’t doO ANYTHING YOU HAVE BACK HOLES” and Cas is like????

“Sam I need to keep trim!!!”

“NO CAS YOU CANT DIE THE RATINGS WILL NEVEr BE THE SAME OUR SHOW CAS THINK ABOUT THE SHOW”

“fine Sam I won’t eat at all just don’t fist my back holes”

“I WASN’T GONnA FIST YOUR BACK HOLES LETS GO FIND DEAN”

And Cas is like “Hells yes let’s go find dean he my baby daddy”

Sam chooses to ignore this because he knows cas can’t have babies that’s silly

So they go find Dean and he’s all sad because he feels inadequate compared to Sam also he’s sad because Sam doesn’t want to be his brother and hes worried Cas doesn’t want to be him baby daddy anymore

And they all hug and then

VWOOM

An ancient god of obesity pops out of no where and is like “I’D HAVE EATEN EVERY FAT CELL IF IT WeReNT FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS” and Dean is like

“Roooby rooby Odooooo”

And they all laugh and then Cas smites the thing the end


End file.
